1) Your profile is important! Take the time to personalize it! Guys are looking at hundreds of single girls in their area and you are only one among the many. Every girl writes about being family and friend oriented, being active, blah, blah, blah. Add funny comments, jokes, or something that peeks their interest. On one dating site I have this posted:
Whatever you do, I strongly recommend that you do not post scandalous pictures. I have made this mistake, and you attract the wrong kind of guys. Yes, you want people to be interested, but you want them interested in you, not sex. Along the same lines, I would also say that although you want to present the best image of yourself, post pics that actually look like you, the last thing you want to do is meet up with someone and have them disappointed. You want someone who is attracted to YOU.
2) The "Juggling Act" is hard! Trying to keep remember every guy and what they have told you is no easy task. Trust me when I strongly recommend that you keep a chart of each guy. Any information that they provided should be jotted down, and when you meet with them, be sure to throw in some of that information to make them feel like you have been listening and are interested. I have also found that coming up with nicknames is very helpful. When you are dating multiple guys, it is hard for your friends to keep them all straight, so the nicknames make conversing about them much easier. For example, one of my current array of boys is a fire fighter, therefore he is referred to as the Fire Fighter, simple!
3) Keeping conversation going online is an art! I always recommend that you ensure that each message has a few questions in it. This makes the conversation flow, and makes things easier for the guy, as he doesn't have to come up with a whole new conversation after every message. Please do not send messages like "how are you?". So lame! Some guys may not mind, but I can tell you that when I get those messages, unless a guy has an amazing profile (and by amazing profile, I mean body!), I don't bother responding. I want to know that a guy took the time to get to know me and is genuinely interested, not just sending of generic messages to every person he sees. Look at a guys profile and take the time to come up with questions specific to them, you get much better results. If he talks about having tattoos, ask him what he has? If he likes long walks on the beach with his dog, what kind of dog does he have? Which beach does he go to? In some circumstances, guys have next to nothing on their profile, in those cases, I usually attempt to be playful by sending a message that says something along the lines of "I just checked out your profile and am interested, but I have to tell you that your profile sucks :P. What should I know about you?". It may seem a little harsh or immature, but I have so far found that pretty successful.
4) Do NOT prolong online communication. I would definitely caution people to not spend a long time talking to guys online. Everyone loses interest after awhile, and you want to leave something to talk about in person. Also, I guy may sound great via text (when he has the time to think about his answers first) or even on the phone, and be completely different in person. A sexy voice does not equal chemistry in person. Neither does having things in common for that matter! You can talk until you are blue in the face and find that a person seems completely different in person, you are not attracted to them, or that you have somehow talked your way into the friend zone. Be smart ladies, get to know the important basics and move forward. I can also tell you from the experiences of my friends and my own, that sometimes the people who you have the least entertaining electronic communication with, can end up being the most interesting date. So remember, you can only find out a small part of whether or not you are compatible with someone electronically.
4) The transition from online dating to dating in person can be rocky. Especially if you spend too much time talking online! You get to think that you know someone, but in reality, you are just meeting for the first time, so all that comfort that you had with someone over the phone, e-mail or texting, will be gone when you change the situation to a live setting. As I said before, get to know the basics and then request a meeting. Please learn from my mistakes, and do not plan a date that will take all day! If you are not feeling it when you meet in person you do not want to waste their time or yours. I know people really want to be creative when planning a first date, but I believe that the first date should just be a brief encounter to see how things translate in person. I am a firm believer in the coffee date. It can be as short as you want, it is in a public place and can usually be a great setting to talk. If things go great during that date, then suggest taking things to another setting or suggest next time you do something more fun.
5) Follow-up after the first date. I'm sure all of your friends will convince you to wait for him to contact you or wait so many hours, etc. Ignore them!! All that does is lead to you constantly checking your e-mails, messages or phone and getting anxious waiting to hear back. If you are nervous, he probably is too! I generally send a quick text an hour or so after a date letting the guy know how I feel. Something as simple as, "I really had a good time, we should get together again soon." If the guy is turned off by you being interested, how will you ever date him? And if he isn't feeling it, than you need to know! You don't want to waste timing worrying and pining over someone who may never call. Send out feelers, give him some reassurance and see where it goes from there. If he is not interested, chances are he won't respond or he will tell you. Remember, tons of guys at your finger tips, don't waste time on one that isn't interested. However, if he had a good time too, then he will probably respond, and you will have saved both of you from the horrible waiting game.
Good Luck!


No comments:
Post a Comment